Friday, November 30, 2012

Total subject shift

Well it's official.  I fail as a blogger.  It's really been since August that I posted a new one?!  Geez.  I refuse to let this blog be something that I started and quit, so here's to Christmas resolutions and keeping this thang updated. 

Well my half marathon came and went on 10/7.  I thought it went really good.  I finished, I didn't die or pass out, so there's some wins.  My official time was 2:54:51.  I wanted to finish in under 3 hours and I did.  I did about 75% of it running.  Buuuut am I ever going to do another one?  Probably not.  I really think I'm more suited for 5ks and 10ks.  The race itself was fun but I absolutely hated the training. I didn't like feeling totally useless and like shit the rest of the day after a long run.  I like that I can do a 5k and still be a human the rest of the day.  Work is covering the entry fee for another half marathon April 2013 but I really think I'm going to pass. 

I'm more or less maintaining my weight.  I weighed in at 159.6 this morning.  Now I see that's 2 or 3 lbs higher than it was when I started this blog...whoops.  I don't really want to stay at this weight, knocking on 160's door.  I much preferred staying between 156-158.  But I mean honestly I've been a bad WWer for about the past 2 months...ever since my half marathon actually.  I really do think that I started eating more training for the half since I was burning so many calories....and I never stopped eating so much.  What I used to eat prior to the half training doesn't satisfy me anymore.  It's almost like I'm starting WW over again...with that feeling of being a little bit hungry all the time.  Sucks. November was also a super busy month with activities of course focused around eating.  I didn't track at all for like 3 weeks.  But I slowly feel like I'm getting back in the saddle and getting control of myself again.  We officially don't have anything going on until Christmas so I have a good 4 weeks to get back in check.  I'm still running 3 days a week, 2.5 to 4 miles at a time.  Now I just need to start back up my strength training.

                                                      Tyler Rose Half Marathon 10.7.2012-




Ok now to the topic I've been veeerrryyy apprehensive talking about.  The hubs and I are TTC (trying to conceive.)  We actually started trying right after my birthday in July.  It's been an interesting journey to say the least....I was so naive when we started this process.  I honestly just assumed I'd be pregnant in a month or 2.  Now here it is, December, and nada.  I've met a fabulous group of girls from the WW boards and we've started a TTC daily email.  We've became great friends through this process of up and downs. That's definitely what it is, an emotional roller coaster.  When I start my period each month, it brings out a new side of crazy that I've never seen in me before.  It doesn't fit well with my Type A personality that this is something I have absolutely zero control over and it's something I can't MAKE happen.  I just can't wrap my head around the fact that we do everything right each month and still no dice.....and that's what makes me a little crazypants.  That and the fact that with each month that passes I'm more and more convinced that something is wrong with one or both of us.  I just feel like my body is failing me sometimes and I don't understand.  I'm in the best shape I've ever been in, I'm healthy and at a healthy weight, what gives????  I try so hard to be happy for pregnant girls but the jealousy is always lingering waiting to rear it's ugly head.  This side of me I don't like at all....the one that says "why her? She wasn't even trying to get pregnant."  So I'm thinking my blog is going to have a total subject shift....I'm still going to focus on being healthy, running, and maintaining my weight but I'm going to be throwing in my TTC struggles too.