That's all I have to say about that....

Big fat negative......I think that's pretty self explanatory.

So since I cannot control when I get pregnant...I can at least control my weight and being OP.  I'm going to be the best little WWer there is this week.  I ran 4 miles today and burned 602 calories.  I came home and had a healthy lunch of turkey sausage and lots of sauteed veggies.  I'm making EB taco cupcakes for dinner.  THAT I can control and hopefully will help the control freak in me from going into a tailspin. 

But I'm getting wine drunk tonight..it's happening.  I just got back from the liquor store with a fabulous bottle of pink moscato.  That's what activity points and weekly points are for. 

My plans for the evening
 

Time for that next step?

I've been thinking tonight....never a good thing when Michael is at the 2nd job and I'm home alone.  I've sat my happy ass on the couch, watched Catfish the TV show on the DVR (love it), and then just sat and did some thinking. 

I've been reading a lot of my friend's blog.  I would reference it here but I don't have her permission yet.  She's struggling with TTC and has been on a very painful journey.  She's been to countless doctors appts, been poked and prodded like crazy and is staying very strong and hopeful throughout the whole thing.  I think she's been ttc for 11 cycles.  She mentioned to me the other day that she started seeing an RE after 6 cycles and she's really glad she did.  She was glad to know early on that they were going to have struggles and could dive on it with tackling them. 

Well...... we've been TTC baby S for 6 cycles now....should we start taking the next steps??? The thought is terrifying to me.  The "general rule" is to see your doctor after you've been trying for a year with no success.  But do I really want to wait a year just to find out something is wrong with one or both of us?  If there is I would rather know now.  The thought of facing it really scares me.  Plus the fact that I just don't think we can afford it now plus the fact that Michael is really stuck on the "waiting a year" part.  So there's that.  I sometimes wish he would get as bothered about all this like I do.  He just says "it'll happen when it's supposed to, when it's meant to be."  Sometimes that infuriates me.  Doesn't he want to know if something is wrong??  Doesn't he want to do all that we can do to have a baby?? 

What that big giant run on sentence of a paragraph pretty much sums up is that I'm frustrated and sad about this whole process. It wasn't supposed to be like this.  I was supposed to one of those girls that got pregnant right off the pill and it was just so easy breezy....all the pregnancy announcements and new baby pictures on Facebook just about have me to my breaking point.  I'm just fed up tonight.

Fall, Texas style

This is December?!  I went on a 4 mile run today followed by a 1.5 mile walk with Max.  The weather is absolutely gorgeous, a wonderful 77 degrees.


A street on my running route

Max really enjoyed his puppy walk

 



Miss Bella, what a princess perched on my pillow